well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
