i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
