All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize