She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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