I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
