im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize