you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Randomize
