im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
