another moral hangover. fuck.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
