The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
