trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
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