if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
