Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
