I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
