DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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