I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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