Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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