Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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