3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize