They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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