the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
