We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
