Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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