i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
