I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
