Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
