She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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