Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize