just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
