but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
