Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
