I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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