totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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