oh god the rape fog is back!
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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