If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
try to milk me bitch
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
