Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize