So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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