brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
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