Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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