they need to just BURY HIM!
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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