I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
