think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
