my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
