My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize