omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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