I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
