i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
