Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
