woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
