i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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