WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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