Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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