is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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