He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize