I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
