i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
