I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
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