youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
