So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
