And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
